Friday, 3 July 2009

If this is the Korean wave , I hope it's waving goodbye.

Until you have heard the sonic ear rape that is Korean pop music , you truly have not looked into the cold eyes of the devil . Korean pop music is not written with notes , but rather with the sonic equivalent of razor blades . It's as if interdimensionally there is a worm hole from Korean pop singers throats to satan's bowels .

Perhaps you think I'm employing a bit of hyperbole in my explanation . I would also be suspicious of such a strong statement , and indeed Korean pop music was like some horrible thing you are able to ignore most of the time herpes ....but that all changed when the song "Tell me" came out by "The Wondergirls".

I don't know what dark ,sick and depraved agenda the writer of this song was pursuing when they released it upon the masses , but I pray for the redemption of their soul . Anyway don't take my word for your own judge .

I apologise for inflicting that upon you ....but now that you have watched it , I'm tempted to say "Nuff said" . But the truth is you could never say enough about the sh!tness of this song . If the melodic geneocide is not enough I'm sure you noticed the dance moves . Since the inception of this veritable fart of a song you have not been able to flip through Korean Television chanells without coming across some creative genius doing some imitation of this dance . If this is the Korean wave , then I hope it's a goodbye wave .

The wondergirls themselves are a cute bunch of girls but that is not enough for them to escape blame entirely . I'm generally in opposition to the death penalty but in this case I kind of see the light . It's simply unreasonable for society to allow people to sing this song and the same time make it illegal to kill them . The two position can't reasonably be expect to exist at the same time .

The other quirky thing about Korean pop music is the random littering of English thrown in for good measure . This is probably borrowed (like most of Korea's culture )from the Japanese . I think the best illustration of this can be shown by my favorite tv show Southpark....

I would like to say something about Korean hip hop , but words fail me . We need to come up with new super adjectives for any explanation to be effective . Maybe something like "hypercrap" or "uberlame" . Anyway ...that's a topic for another day .

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